dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
