turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
