Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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