I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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