I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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