if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
