im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
