In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
