I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
