Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
