This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Randomize
