My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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