Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize