So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
