Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
As shirtless as possible
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
