Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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