U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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