was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
