im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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