i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
