Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just gift wrapped bread.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
