Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
