Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
