Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
