You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
