And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
