On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Congratulations! We have a period
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize