Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
