The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
