so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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