I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
