Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
