I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
