I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
