Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
