It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
