I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
