My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
