I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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