i don't like sucking hair
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
