HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
