you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
