My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize