it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
