forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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