HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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