Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
