Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
