Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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