Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
