i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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