I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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