Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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