New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Randomize
