Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
