it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
