i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize