Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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