she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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