youre lurking in front of me
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
