everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize