He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize