fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
