First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i dont even know how to be here
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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